In most times and places bipolar disorder was considered a curse or demon. I’m guessing that, against conventional wisdom, it wasn’t ignorant priests or hateful neighbors who came up with that but the bipolar people themselves. It’s such a tragedy that every time you get some relief, that every time you think you’ve figured out how to manage it or keep it at bay it inevitably comes back. It’s even worse if you haven’t fully internalized the meaning of “chronic” or “degenerative.” I knew something was wrong in September, but just because something is wrong doesn’t mean the sky is falling. I realized I didn’t have an outlet for my worries, concern, or pain. I was doing better going to work and getting things done than I have in several years. Far from the intense social isolation I experienced just a year or two ago, I had a growing group of people relying on me for emotional, academic, and professional support. I liked that. But the more I spent my time helping and listening t...
Suicide is not incomprehensible, inevitable, or evil. I have struggled with severe mental illness and suicidal ideation for decades. I, and most people in my situation, have been groping blindly though the darkness in shame and fear. Not any more. It's time we look directly into the void, together.